Will to Live – Anger & Envy – Part 64

After I began living with her full time, I learned a few things about her at the time I never knew much about. First off. I knew she was a free-spirit of sorts. She would just take off and walk barefoot in the park or at the beach. She lived on her own for many years, but didn’t want to be accountable to anyone for her whereabouts. Sometimes, I would wake up during the night and she would be gone. I was never used to anything like this before, so I started to question her about where she was going at different hours of the night. She always told me she couldn’t sleep and would just go for a walk. I found that to be really odd. Maybe it was me, but I never had a girlfriend, wife or, for this matter, a fiancĂ© to just pick up and go for a walk during the night. After several nights of this, I pretended to be asleep. When she left one night. I decided to throw on a shirt and shoes to follow what she was doing. Unbeknownst to me, she was meeting some guy on the streets and was purchasing illegal substances, I wasn’t just talking about weed. I hurried back to the apartment and jumped into bed fully clothed. As she proceeded to come into the apartment and eventually to bed, I asked where have you been. She proceeded to tell me she just got back from the bathroom and I needed to turn the light out and go back to sleep, I must have had a dream. I sat straight up in the bed and hit the floor fully clothed. I told her that I followed her tonight. I didn’t give a shit what she was doing, but her and I were history, no further discussion. By now, it was 5:00 AM in the morning. I told her to take the ring off her finger, put the keys to the jeep on the counter and that I would pack her shit up and send it to her home. I was not going to marry anyone that is dealing drugs. I could lose my job. Weed is one thing, but whatever the hell she was doing, just get the F$$K out of here. I was madder than a hornet’s nest on a windy day. I felt so damn betrayed. I actually cared for this girl. With tears in her eyes, she apologized to me, put the ring and the keys on the dresser, called her daughter to come get her and it was over that fast!! This engagement only lasted about 7 weeks. She just said she didn’t know how to be a girlfriend. She liked to do her own things and never wanted to be accountable to anyone for her actions. I basically said no problem and good luck in the future. To this day even living in Saint Petersburg 7 years later, I only had contact with her one other time.

In the morning, I decided to go to the Spa  and told my friend and my masseuse what had happened. I decided I wanted a 2 hour massage just to get the tension from my body. The masseuse noticed I was visibly upset. I just said, look give me a gentle massage. I just want to ease this pain I have in my heart. I felt so betrayed. It is ironic, you never know anyone until you live with them for a while. It took less than 4 weeks for me to realize I made a huge mistake with her. Now I had this Beautiful Diamond Engagement Ring and a Brand new Jeep that only had 58 miles on it. After leaving the massage, they must have talked. Later that day my masseuse gave me a call and said, hey, would like to go out and grab something to eat. I hate seeing you all tore up over this relationship. I paused for a minute and said to her, why not? Sounds like a great idea. She told me where she lived and I picked her up and we went out to dinner at 400 Beach. She only lived about 5 blocks from the restaurant. Later on after dinner, we met friends at Smuggs and I decided to start drinking pretty heavy with her and several other friends I had met through the Spa. We must have started drinking around 9:00 PM, playing darts and bull-shitting and the next thing you know it is 3:00 AM in the morning. I was so inebriated that she had to wind up driving us back to my place. If anyone ever knew me, once I got juiced on Tequila, I was a pretty handsy guy especially when I was drinking. That night, I asked her to stay with me. I guess you can read between the line. That morning I was engaged to one woman and that night I was sleeping with another. The next morning when I awoke about 11:00 AM with a tremendous hangover, she was gone. Unfortunately, this was a work day and she had to be at the Spa for 10 :00 AM the next morning. As I walked across the street to get a Starbucks coffee and wake up, I walked into the Spa and had sunglasses on and was nursing a hangover. I know I needed sunglasses and unfortunately, the lady I was looking for was with a client. I decided to go have a brunch at the Hilton Hotel. The owner joined me, but did not eat. After we came back to her Spa, I found her in the breakroom having a bit of lunch. With the owner’s  permission, I walked into the back where she was eating. She looked up at me and with a smile, said and she was laughing. if you don’t remember, you had a good time last night. I never laughed so hard. OMG, at first, I thought she was going to tell me I was out of line, etc. I just said I got to ask one question??, was I a gentleman or a complete ASS. She said absolutely not. You were a perfect gentleman, but quite the handsy guy!! I knew that already, hence the nickname – Loveable as a Bear. She joked with me and said they should have nicknamed you Octopus. She got up from the table walked over to where I was standing and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said all good!! Oh by the way, would you like a massage this afternoon. This one is a freebee – on me today. I had an absolutely wonderful time at dinner as well as an interesting evening.

Will to Live – Lust, Envy, & Pride – Part 65

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