Will to Live – Anger, Lust, & Envy – Part 67

At the end of September. she and her lifelong best friend had planned a trip long before her and I moved in together. They were traveling to see the fall leaves change in New Hampshire and Connecticut. She was going to be gone a week. During that timeframe, I had planned a trip to New Orleans to bake and decorate my daughter’s wedding cake with my best friend. Due to all the travel I had coming up, I spoke with him and he decided to help me greatly and he baked and decorated the cake for me. He has always been a near and dear friend of mine over the years. On October 6th, my daughter was getting married in Mandeville, LA to her fiancĂ©. I approved of this and was happy that my daughter was getting married to him. This was his first marriage. To help him out during this time, I had gone to Jared’s and designed a Wedding Ring for him to give my daughter. It was going to be our little secret between us. He had a ring picked out to give my daughter, but in typical fashion, I always wanted my daughter to have the best, which has always been one of my biggest downfalls in life. The wedding cake was absolutely beautiful. My best friend and his lovely wife made a sign for the Wedding which was absolutely hysterical. Instead of the sign reading, Here Comes the Bride, it read and I quote, ” Here Comes the Father of the Bride”, which he had held up and walked ahead of me as I walked my daughter down the aisle. As we were walking down the short aisle, people were applauding on both sides of the aisle. It was the neatest idea and even my daughter thought it was pretty funny. Most of my life, I have always had a Big Soft Heart for everyone and everything and I needed a shout out. I had done so much for my daughter over the years to always be stabbed in my Heart. Down deep, this was a way to pat me on the back for the job I had done helping to raise my daughter and the amounts of monies I had spent over the years bailing her out of this and that is phenomenal. It never stopped and unfortunately, the day the bleeding will eventually stop is probably the day I close my eyes for good. This is so sad but the honest truth. Besides spending money on the ring, I paid for an all expense Honeymoon trip to Florida for 5 days and 4 nights. I also included a rental car, messages for 2 and a romantic Presidential Suite with breakfast in bed as well as 2 nights of dinners. Along with all of this, I gave them $2,500 to help get started in their new life as Husband and Wife.

After the wedding was over, we flew to Las Vegas for a Bakery convention. Most of the time while we were in Las Vegas, she stayed in the room due to the smoke in the hotel and casino. I kept trying to get her to go out to a show, have dinner, or even spend a few minutes at a slot machine, but she decided to just stay in the room and read a book. I could tell something had changed from the time she left to go on her trip until the time I met her in New Orleans for my daughter’s wedding. She started to become very distant. When we returned to Saint Petersburg the following Wednesday after the show, she started to sleep in the spare bedroom. I think she was having second thoughts about our engagement and wanted to move back home to Houston. We began to have minor disagreements about a few different things. One night sitting across the table from her, I told her maybe I rushed into things really quick and maybe we should reconsider our relationship. She gave me a look I had never seen before. I asked her to give me the engagement ring back and maybe we should slow things down a bit. If she wanted to go back to Houston, I would be more than happy to make sure I brought her back to either her friends home or her daughter’s.

I was on a Conference Call the next day for over an hour. When I was done with the call, I looked for her and saw no signs of her or Mozart. After waiting a little while longer, I noticed the front door was closed, but it was not shut all the way. The next thing you know, I had 5 undercover Policemen at my door with guns drawn. I put my hands in the air and in a loud and commanding voice I was told to turn around. The next thing you know is I was handcuffed. I was standing in my own apartment working and the next thing you know, I am handcuffed. WTF was going on??? My heart was racing a mile a minute and I had tears in my eyes. After I was secured and could cause no harm to any policemen, they stated to me that I had put a Gun to her head and threatened to kill her. When they searched my home, they did discover several weapons. I have always been a gun advocate and I had a Concealed Weapons Permit. After a 45 minute conversation with the officers about me and my background, they took the handcuffs off. They told me that due to this domestic violence report, I would need to leave escorted by one of their officers so she could come and get her things. I was madder than hell. I was totally caught off guard. I didn’t know what the hell that just happened, but I surely did not do none of those things. I knew this engagement was over as quick as the last one. A mutual friend came to get her personal stuff in my place and that was that. I tried several times to contact her by cell phone, but the number had been changed. Just like that, I lost out again. Well, you can imagine my next move. Between eating, heavy drinking and drugs, I was about as lost as lost could be in my life. I was hurt, confused, puzzled, betrayed, and needless to say, felt extremely foolish. At the time, I turned to my friends and a few others and no one could believe what had happened. Once again, I had spent all this money thinking I found someone I could be happy with only to find out I was engaged to a Gold Digger. She got exactly what she came to Saint Petersburg. She knew that I had a kind Heart and she milked it for all she could get. My life was an absolute mess.

Just a few weeks before my daughters wedding, I had a lady in my home office accuse me of talking very in appropriately during a meeting. I was talking to another person, but she had huge ears and was listening to our conversation. Besides all the shit going on with my personal life at home, I now had to take Sensitivity Classes for 6 weeks on how to appropriately talk in an office. The counselor called the President of our company and said this was bogus bullshit, but he would be happy to take the companies money. So once a week for 6 weeks, I met with this Doctor in Tampa and talked about everything but sensitivity. After I was done, the President apologized to me and said they had to have me attend these session because of a potential Law Suit from the employee. I was pissed, but my life was already a freaking mess anyway and chalk this up to yet another crazy moment.

Will to Live – Lust and Pride – Part 68

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