Over the next several months, I continued with my weight loss journey. By the time Christmas of 1998 came around, I was about 275 lbs. This was about the smallest I had been in many years. My daughter was in her final year at Archbishop Chapelle High School. I promised her if she finished strong, that I would surprise her with a very nice graduation present after completing High School. Karen seemed like she was improving overall. Her relationship with my 2nd wife was improving and she wasn’t acting out as much at home with her mom. We spent time in New Orleans for the Christmas Holiday that year. After traveling back to Charlotte, NC for the New Year Celebration, we decided to begin talks about moving to Newberry, SC. We had only been in our new home for two years, but she talked about restoring the home her Dad and Mom had built. Newberry was about 90 miles away from where we lived. For many years, she had rented the home to some cousins as well as friends. The moneys received helped to offset the payments required to keep her Mom in a nursing home for almost 9 years. The home was over 100 years old. After the last tenants moved out, we did an entire assessment of the home. It needed so much work. We decided to hire a good friend, whom was a contractor in Newberry to give us an estimate of what it would take to fix the home up. At the time, we decided to do just some basic repairs, like new carpet, fresh paint, and a few minor repairs. I was reluctant to move to this older home. Newberry, SC was an old cotton mill and poultry town. The next big industry was a McDonald’s Plant that made the McGriddle Pancake Buns.
After we Celebrated the New Year of 1999, I started to go back to some of my old habits. I began feeling good about my weight loss and started with that old saying, well, I will only have a bite. It won’t hurt a thing. Well, one bite turned into two bites and before you know it, I stopped attending Weight Loss Sessions, quit seeing the Dietician, and found myself putting on weight again. The cocky attitude was in full swing and I was in denial that I even had a weight problem. I was becoming a bit complacent. Things with Cascade Cookie Company were moving in a negative direction. The owner and I had several words and I decided to part ways from the company. For some reason, he hated my arrogance. I used to Brag about being top salesman and breaking all kind of selling records. It didn’t set well with him. Now that I look back on my attitude, I was 110% wrong. I was masking other problems. I was pissed at myself for beginning to gain weight again and I always pointed the fingers at everyone else but the man in the mirror. Word got out that I left Cascade Cookie Company. I had a friend, whom worked for a large Bread Manufacturer in Longmont, CO. He called on me when I was Director of Bakery at Schwegmann Giant Super Markets. We had become friends and remained in touch even after I left Schwegmann. He knew I was a selling machine and by now I had many contacts up and down that Eastern US. He flew me out to Denver, CO and I had an interview with him and the executive staff at Gerard’s Bakery. He was a Senior Vice President and actually had some ownership in the company. Before I left Denver, I was offered a position selling Bread for Gerard’s Bakery. I was going to be responsible for the Eastern US for both Retail and Food Service. You may not have heard of this company, but we manufactured the breads for Quizno’s Sub Shoppes. We started with Quiznos early on when they only had 18 stores and grew with the until they reached 4500 locations. Business was booming and so was my ASS. I was traveling a lot establishing my territory up and down the Eastern US, while trying to maintain existing business that he had started the year before I began with Gerards. My main problem was the eating habits were out of control. I was eating many times per day, always on the go grabbing fast food and eating at all hours of the night. The craziest thing about losing a huge amount of weight is its extremely embarrassing to be in front of friends a few months later looking like someone pumped me up with a bicycle pump. I was on the almighty Yo-Yo track again with my weight. This time, I managed to only gain about 80 lbs. back. It took less than 8 months to put the weight back on my body. I was angry at myself and took it out on everyone else but the man in the mirror. I guess you could say I was on a path of total destruction and at the time I didn’t give a shit on the surface, but down deep, I was extremely depressed and embarrassed of the recent weight gain!! In my next post, it gets really disturbing for me. The year is now 1999 and we are approaching the month of May!!
Will To Live – Anger and More Anger – Part 39