Will to Live – Gluttony & Pride – Part 54

My visits to New Orleans always made me feel wonderful. I had time to spend with my daughter, her husband and both grandkids. It didn’t matter to them if my then wife was with me or not. She was down to making one trip a year to New Orleans as more of a token visit. My time in New Orleans was spent with family and friends. When I was not with them, I spent a lot of my free time at the Treasure Chest Casino. On some visits I would win as much as $4K to $5 thousand dollars and on other visits, I could easily lose that much in a single day. My pride had gotten the best of me and I hid this gambling from my wife. At one time, I had charged over $20K on an American Express Card. Between the lies of where I was and whom I was with were mounting. It become hard to look my wife in the eyes. I was drinking, gambling and spending money I never had to spend. I was Mr. Big shot!! I was making good money and it was my money to spend. She had her own account and I had mine. We did have one joint account from which we paid bills. I never let her see how much money I was charging on my AMEX card. It was something I had since 1983 and as far as I was concerned, it was none of her damn business. We were still drifting further and further apart, but on the surface it all seemed as if we were the happiest couple on Earth.

Toward the end of 2009, I received some horrible news that one of my best friends and boss, whom was President of my present company, was released from his job. I was one of the first people he called. At the time, he was working at the New Jersey facility and had a vehicle he left at the plant to drive when he would visit. He was escorted out of the building like he was a criminal and a limo brought him back to the hotel. As he was leaving to drive back home, I asked him to come spend the night at our home in Charlotte, NC and not try to drive all the way home. He was absolutely shocked of this decision. Once he arrived, we spent many hours discussing all the what if’s and what happened. It seems one of the top executives decided to hire a firm and brought in a Widget Genius. We did not see eye to eye. He promoted another salesmen to be my immediate supervisor. In my eyes, this guy didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. He was a puppet for the new President, a damn yes man. Needless to say, the first thing he announced to the team that CASH was King. Everything else didn’t matter. Well, I lasted about another 6 months with this company after my friend was let go. I tried to get along with that piece of shit, but it was evident I was going nowhere. He started messing with my compensation package within the first 2 months. He reduced my commissions and tried to cut my salary. What he was trying to do was decrease payroll while increasing prices to the customers.  He decided to bring all the sales people to the office and wanted us to give our customers a 20% price increase across the board. I had an excellent reputation in the Bakery, Deli, and Foodservice Industry with nearly 34 years experience during this time period. This man came from the automotive side of the business and ran a company that represented auto parts. Basically, he was their to reduce overhead and increase profitability. After being sabotaged a few times by my new boss, I decided to give the President my notice. I know this jerk put the now President up to doing some of his dirty work. Once I gave my notice, I received a nasty call from him. It lasted all of about 1 minute and I told him and I quote, F OFF – I don’t need this stinking job. I refuse to damage my reputation for you to look like your the King. Guess What – Shove your King’s Crown up your ASS sideways. The phone went dead -he asked if I was finished – I just hung up!! We never spoke again. I received my last paycheck in December of 2009. Thankfully, I had money in the bank and I decided to take some time off from work.

After the 2010 New Year’s, I decided to start looking for work, but not aggressively. My 2nd wife was still working fulltime and we had a nice sum of money in the bank. Over the next few months, not working was starting to take a toll on me. I was becoming depressed because I quit a great paying job. It started to affect me greatly. I was going the opposite way with my weight again. I wasn’t working, but my nerves were getting the best of me. I quit a great job paying over $200K a year – how crazy was that. I guess my pride got in the way of reality. I kept dwelling on this more and more. The more I dwelled on the situation, the more I started to not only gain weight, but my drinking and gambling were off the charts. I was actually depressed. I was so depressed it started to affect my daily life. I had gained almost 50 lbs. in 2 months. I began to become a recluse. I never wanted to do anything or go anywhere. I began to have sleepless nights. This led to me having difficulty with social outings. I began to cry a lot. My 2nd wife tried to help me. She called the Pastor of our Church and he to tried to help. He came over several times and ask me to go to the hospital. I was not acting rational. On one occasion, I was so depressed, I placed my Dad’s 357 Smith and Wesson Revolver in my mouth and almost pulled the trigger. I was visibly upset. The phone rang and I put the gun down. It was my friend, who was the President of my existing company on the phone. He noticed and could hear in my voice that I had been crying. He asked me what was wrong. I told him I had a gun in my mouth when the phone rang. I know he was shaken. He reached out to my wife and before you knew it, I was escorted to  the hospital by the Police. I had gone a bit too far this time. I knew I was depressed and needed some Godly divine intervention. I spent the next 4 weeks in a Mental Institution diagnosed with Situational Depression.

Will to Live – Anger, Greed, & Gluttony – Part 55

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