Will to Live – Gluttony w/ Envy & Greed – Part 24

After 6 months went by in my new position as Bakery Buyer, my boss finally gave me an office to share with the Floral Buyer. We had the 2 newest Departments that emerged from much larger Grocery Store Departments. Before this happened, the Bakery was part of the Deli Department and the Flower Shop was part of the Produce Department. Our new offices were pretty neat. The Store Planner decided to convert an old meat freezer into a nice office. It was actually pretty cool to say the least. Pardon the Pun!! LOL – Most of my time was spent in the Bakeries teaching bakers how to properly handle baked goods. I would come into the office once or twice a week to review items that needed to be ordered for both the Freezer and Supply Room for all 14 Bakeries. I also spent a 1/2 day meeting with Manufactures to discuss existing and possible new items for the Bakery. The afternoons were spent in Ad Meetings along with New Item Presentations to the upper Level Management Team. The 1/2 Day spent reviewing new items was when I got into the most trouble regarding my weight. I had all kind of samples coming into my office. If it had a slight chance of being a new Bakery item, it crossed my desk and was presented to me first. I guess word got around the Country that Schwegmann Giant Super Markets was gearing up to have large Bakeries because my calendar was filling up quickly with appointments. I was always a fairly friendly guy. I never said no to an appointment and always return a phone call with in a few hours. My biggest problem was all the samples. My Compulsive Overeating was starting to get the best of me. I always tasted everything that was presented to me. Sometimes I even went back for a second opinion and if it I felt I had a real winner, I would actually eat the entire sample. I can remember one time, a broker brought me a New York Style Cheese Cake. Oh my God, I was in Heaven. Although it has been over 25 years ago, I can still remember how fabulous that Cheese Cake had been. It had 4 different flavors, 16 slices in all and was about 3″ high. My Gluttony and Greed was now in full mode. At one time, it was so bad, I would hide the samples so I could eat them later when know one else was in the office. The weight I had lost on the Shaklee Liquid Diet and the Vegetarian Diet was now starting to flip in the opposite direction. I started to hate the way I looked. My clothes were starting to get tighter and tighter. Just 6 months earlier, I spent almost $700 – $800 dollars  on new clothes and no my shirt buttons were starting to pull apart when I sat down. I had become very envious of those around me that could eat whatever they wanted and never gained a pound. It didn’t matter what they ate, how much or how often, they always seemed to stay about the that same weight. It really bothered me to know avail. In the back of my mind, this was yet another reason for me to eat, self pity. How crazy was that to be jealous over someone else’s eating habits that didn’t gain weight. My circle of friends, brokers, and manufactures was becoming larger. I was always going to lunch at least 3-4 days a week with Brokers and Manufactures. It became the norm in my business. On Wednesday, it was a 1/2 day for us in the Director and Buying Groups. I would visit a store or two in the morning until about 1:00 PM and than off to lunch and 18 holes of Golf. How sweet was that back in the day? I was never a good golfer, but I could hit a ball pretty decent. The best thing about Golfing, we smoked Cuban Cigars, drank a few cold beers, shot some Tequila and always told a lot of Bullshit Stories. As time went on, I noticed my weight was becoming a problem with my Golf game. I used to walk the Golf Course and now I needed to ride in the Golf Carts. Also, once I did get the Golf ball in the hole, it was becoming a bit more difficult to retrieve. I had to bend down below the surface of ground level. It was embarrassing if one of the guys would say, hey let me get that for you!! – OMG, I could have just runaway, but I never said a thing. I pretended that this was just me being me. I enjoyed being the Bakery Buyer, but it did nothing for my physical or mental state of mind whatsoever. As time went on, my weight continued to go up. By now, I was closing in on the 400 lb. mark again. This was for the second time in my life.

Will to Live – Gluttony w/ a Touch of False Pride – Part 25

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