Will to Live – Anger & Envy – Part 53

Soon after the dust settled at the Bakery, I decided to get serious yet again with my weight loss. I decided to go back to the Doctor whom helped me the first time at Carolina Weight Management. The Doctor was a great guy not only to get weight loss advice, but we were becoming fast friends. We had a lot of things in common like Pro and College Football, NASCAR, Indy Racing, and nice cars. I started to really listen to him this go around. My weight was getting out of hand once again. During my weight loss journey this time, I tried to approach things from a more healthy lifestyle change. I started this program again around 400 lbs., which was about the third time I approached this high of weight. As time went on, I began having further health issues again with my heart. My blood pressure was always high and my diabetes was in full swing. My regular Family Doctor at the time was young man from Raleigh, NC. He placed me on another Diabetes Drug known as Byetta, which was an injectable pen. The drug was not insulin, but I had to give myself injections every morning in the belly. It was not as bad as it sounded, but every now and then I would hit a nerve and would see stars it hurt so bad. After about 2 months, my stomach had so many red dots it looked like I had been attacked by mosquitoes. My fasting sugar had rose above the 250 level, which was not good especially since I was having problems with high blood pressure. My Heart Doctor at the time kept preaching to me to lose weight and keep it off. I was going to have a Pacemaker/ Defibrillator placed in my chest. I knew he was extremely serious, but I never felt really too bad. I always left my heart doctor somewhat angry. I guess down deep the truth hurt and I was not willing to hear the truth. It hurt my feelings as well as sometimes scared the shit out of me. So over the next several months, I started to get in a good pattern for losing weight. I hope you understand I have been battling weight all of my life. This didn’t just start a few years ago. I have had problems with food since I was eight years old. Believe it or not, I still battle the demons that go along with wanting to eat. The holidays started to roll around again. I made yet another trip to New Orleans without my wife. She decided to join her childhood friend on a trip to San Francisco instead of joining me in New Orleans to visit my family. They were best friend since they were in 1st Grade. Sometimes I know she was always envious of the relationship I had with my wife in the beginning of our marriage. My wife’s friend was having trouble in her marriage with her husband. As time went on in our marriage, every time I went out of town on a business trip, either she came to our home to stay or my wife went down to her home in Columbia, SC. I often wondered if they were closer than I originally thought. It seemed like the further we became, the closer they had becoming. Her husband and I would talk on the phone about this situation. He began to notice this as well. He had his own agenda. He was a golfer and traveled  the Southeastern US a lot himself. I guess you could almost say, as long as he could spend his free time on a Golf Course, he truly didn’t care what his wife was doing or whom she was with. I guess he always felt better knowing that she was with my wife. By the time the New year rolled around, I had lost almost 100 lbs. to start 2009. I was feeling good and extremely confident once again!!

Will to Live – Gluttony and Pride – Part 54

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