Will to Live – Gluttony – Part 7

The romance with food started getting worse that winter of my sophomore year. One of my friends whom I picked up in the morning for school was a year older and a starter on the Jesuit High football team. His home was my first stop on the way to school. I would pick him up and we would stop near his home at a corner grocery store that had a deli. He would only get a Cinnamon Roll or Honey Bun. As for me, I would have a Hot Sausage Po-Boy or a Double Cheeseburger with fries, a couple of chocolate moon pies or some donuts along with a large 24 ounce fountain Coke. I would let him drive and pick up the other kids while I ate my 2nd morning breakfast. Understand, I was eating this at 6:30 AM in the morning after having breakfast cereal or eggs at home. I was never satisfied. Sometimes, even after we got to school, I would walk down to the local donut shop, Tastee Donuts,  which was only 2 blocks from school just to get another donut. I was absolutely miserable. Sometimes, I was so full, I would fall asleep in First Period. OMG, I truly was obsessed with food. I was a teenage Compulsive Overeater. That winter, we had the JROTC Military Ball at Jesuit High School. I didn’t have a girlfriend, but I had met a young girl at band camp. She went to Mount Carmel High School. She was a freshman and a year younger than me. We went to the Military Ball together and had a great time, so I thought. A few days passed and I drove over to see her. Well, she invited me in and we talked for awhile. She said, and I quote, “Look, you are a great guy, but I can’t go out on a date with you anymore.” I was like – are you really SERIOUS!! She said, “unfortunately, my friends teased me about going out with such a fat guy at the dance last weekend”. I left her home never feeling so rejected in all my life. I was not only hurt, I was devastated. She doesn’t want to go out anymore because I’m FAT, What The F%$K!! We had a fabulous time; I know it!! She even said to me, you are a great dancer!! I’m having so much fun I can’t wait for my dance. Well, my feelings and pride were totally destroyed, but I knew exactly what to do to overcome this hurt. You probably  guessed it – I left her home and went out on an evening of food binging. My pain didn’t last long, because food loved me and I loved food. I was going to show her who was the bomb. So, this became the norm for me. I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was sad – I ate because I down right loved to EAT!! – End of Story!! No one ever put a gun to my head and said eat. I was a Glutton  and I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about my weight, much less a girl!! This sickness continued!!  I was desperate and needed help!! My mom had no idea how serious my problem had become. I was a Closet Eater and no one truly understood why or how I was gaining so much weight. I was probably consuming close to 7500 to 8000 Calories per day. As I look back on my past, I am surprised I ever lived past 30 years of age much less reach the age of 60. – WOW!! 

Will TO Live – Gluttony – Part 8 – To be Continued!!

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